(no subject)

[cactusy]

1) Post your characters, one per comment
2) Go around with your characters and have them ask other characters questions-- anything goes!
3) Forced honesty time! Lying is impossible because of reasons
4) ICly discuss the confessions and revelations

Comments

Lalo Salamanca

[salamanca]

[ Hahahaha. ]

[aluminumandash]

Why'd you become a cop.

[salamanca]

Pfft! You still believe that shit? Really? That's amazing. Turns out you guys are all dipshits. To think I had such high hopes for you, Detective.

[aluminumandash]

I had my doubts, but you don't know the fucking gauntlet of incompetence, stupidity, and plain malice I've run over the years.

What were you hoping for.

[salamanca]

Yeah, that's about right! Thing is, no matter how dumb I act, there's gotta be a real cop out there who's even dumber.

Mmmm... [ Rubs chin thoughtfully. Voice chipper as always. ] Not sure! I was kinda hoping you'd be madder, but you don't seem like the type to get your nuts in a bunch about that shit.

But I also thought you'd figure it out on your own. Before I told you.

[sharktrash]

Would you rather suck dick or eat ass?

[ you're welcome. yes, this is revenge. ]

[salamanca]

[ Watch him twist like a worm on a hook, turn beet red, and glare at you like he's trying to kill you with his brain all at the same time. His nostrils flare. His answer, when it finally comes, is both mumbled and in Spanish.

He can't lie, but he can answer in a language he thinks Squalo doesn't know! ]

Suck dick. I've been told I'm good at it. I'd rather get sucked, though.

[sharktrash]

[ Oh, he's absolutely watching. And grinning. Also, bad news: ]

Good at it, huh? Natural talent or lots of practice?

[salamanca]

[ god no no no no why why why why

the death stare intensifies for a moment before he stares at the ceiling and closes his eyes. he swallows hard. ]

Práctica.

[sharktrash]

[ it's punishment for your sins, Lalo ]

Huh! Who would've thought. Certainly didn't see that coming. The one who shouts the loudest...

[ at least he's willing to drop it now... maybe? ]

Are you actually married?

[salamanca]

It was all on the same guy! It only happened once. It doesn't count if it's only once. That doesn't make you gay.

[ To the question of whether or not he's actually married, Lalo just snorts. It's almost an amused sound as he shoots Squalo an animated expression. ]

What do you think?

[sharktrash]

Hey, once isn't exactly "practice", now is it? Unless you're saying you kept at it for a week straight? Don't need to answer that one, by the way. Just kind of concerned.

But you're right, that doesn't count. Not unless the balls touch, right? If they did, well, I've got bad news for you amico.

[ Purses his lips in thought and raises his eyebrows. ]

Nah. And you ain't a cop, either.

[salamanca]

One guy, multiple blowjobs over the course of several months. Hope that clears things up. I've wanted to do it more often that. Never got the chance. Where I'm from, you don't flaunt that shit. You have to be careful about it.

It's "amigo." By the way. Idiot.

[ But his voice is warm and playful, despite the insult. He's teasing. He knows Squalo is using an Italian word.

He's so relieved to be moving onto another topic of conversation. He's comparatively far, far more cheerful about owning up to impersonating an officer. Some of his trademark confidence seems back in. ]

Nah! Not even close.

[sharktrash]

That's basically a boyfriend. I'm happy for you.

Not in italian it ain't.

[ Yeah, he suspects the man probably knows that, but he can't let anyone think he made a mistake like that, can he? He's not... overly stressed about it, though. One could almost say he's also being playful. ]

'Nd your name isn't "Ben".

[aluminumandash]

Cárcel? [ Look, he knows about 60 words of Spanish but a lot of them mean dick. ]

[salamanca]

[ NOOO NOT YOU TOO. Of all the fucking people. You obviously don't speak Spanish, not really, but he knows how to his game works. It's a matter of time before he starts spilling everything to you too.

Lalo wants to die. Where's the weird sexy growly animal-man-woman-creature when you actually need it?

He slides down further into his chair, hand up to his temple, face purple from embarrassment, eyes closed. Then he gets an idea, and manages to smile a little as he peers up at Rust. He even laughs, sorta. More like a snort.

In Spanish: ]

Good job, pendejo. You know one word. I'm impressed.

[ Pauses. Continues in English. ]

And how many dicks have you sucked, Detective? Eh??

[aluminumandash]

[ Rust's expression, per usual, is closed off. He flicks a glance to Lalo, then stretches at the shoulders, one side to the other.

When he speaks, the drawl's thicker, lazier than ever. ] Well, you're suddenly real interested in where my mouth's been. [ A sharp little smile. ] Want me to suck yours?

cw: this is gross (i don't know a better way to say it)

[salamanca]

[ He hates that closed off expression more than anything, he hates not being able to read someone and he especially hates not being able to read someone right now.

That stupid little smile, that he hates even more than not being able to read Rust at all, that stupid little drawl — Lalo's nostrils flare with anger. He's smiling too but it's a hard, angry smile. His fists clench. There's rage dancing in his eyes, but there's something else too. Something wounded, something deeply humiliated. ]

Maybe if you don't wanna get asked questions about where your mouth has been, don't fucking insert yourself into conversations you're not part of. Seems easy enough to me. [ He snorts. Like he's cool and above it all. He is not above it all. The question makes his chest rise and expand rapidly, pushing out then collapsing back in. ]

With all due respect, Detective [ that is to say: none ] I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Go fuck yourself. [ He closes his eyes, tries to force himself not to answer, and resorts to Spanish when that fails. ] Si. Then maybe you'll finally shut up.

threadjacks all over the fuckin place

[cactusy]

FYI? Literally everybody knows what sí means.

[cactusy]

[Translator time! ]

I think he's saying he's good at sucking dick and he likes getting his dick sucked. I'm iffy on slang, though.

[salamanca]

[ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Congratulations, Shaw. For once, Lalo is rendered speechless as he just stares at her, eyes wide and mouth agape, before he snaps his mouth shut and just lowers his head, hand on his temple. ]

[cactusy]

[Haaaaahahaha ]

Something wrong, de Guzman?

[Smiling juuuuust a little over here. ]

[salamanca]

[ His face is a compelling shade of summer tomato, and her smile makes it worse. Or it would, if it could get worse. (He wasn't even sure she knew how to do that! She always seemed so stern on the walkies.)

Or it would, if it could get worse. ]

Si. You know what's wrong. [ An aggravated sigh. ] You should know my name isn't "De Guzman."

[cactusy]

What is it? Oh, and fuck, marry, kill - Cohle, Blackwood, Jet?

[salamanca]

Salamanca. Better than De Guzman, don't you think? I was pretending to be dead when I arrived here. I needed a new alias.

[ Oh, fuck. The irony of the situation and the cleverness of turning his own bullshit back on him doesn't escape him, and Lalo actually laughs despite himself.

He does still squirm like a fish on a line, fighting his body not to answer before he gives up and answers in Spanish. ]

Please don't translate this, okay?

I'm not the marrying kind, but marry Jet. He's stable. Dependable. Pretty blue eyes.

Fuck the detective because I don't want to give him the satisfaction of saying I'd kill him, and he's so uptight I bet he could fuck me into the mattress if he ever cut loose.

Kill Blackwood. Nothing personal. But he's so shy, I just don't think he'd know what to do with me.