glencolaaa | (no subject)

[ The thing Lalo fears most might surprise Martin, if he were to ask. But perhaps it's lucky for Lalo that Martin seems disinclined to do that. Lalo does watch Martin's hardening expression with intrigue, though. What does that mean?

It's also lucky for Martin that Lalo is trying, in whatever way he can, to extend an olive branch. It means Martin is spared any derisive snorts or unflattering comparisons to amoeba.

He does get a slightly uncertain smile and a genuinely confused, blank stare. ]

A-what? "Identifies"...? [ Go easy on him, Martin. He's not from awhen here. He looks at Martin like he's mentally grasping for an explanation. He shrugs helplessly, his smile fixed on his face but weak and confused. ] Sorry. I don't know what any of that means.

[ He does get something interesting out of that explanation, though! ]

So why did you start dating him? Did you make the first move? [ Lalo grins now, more sincerely. He'd playfully elbow Martin in the side Martin hadn't smartly moved too far away. Sorry, Martin. Even when he's not trying to be a dick, he's still Like This. ] Way to go! I didn't think you had it in ya...

[ A thought pops into his head. It's risky but if he's serious about trying to mend fences here... it might work. Nobody likes to feel at a disadvantage, after all, and if they're both asking questions, then it's not just Martin in the hot seat. ] You got any questions for me?

Edited 2023-06-12 20:33 (UTC)

[Martin moves more than a meter away this time, crossing his arms. There's a frostiness about him that's only seeming to grow, in spite of Lalo's olive branches. He's not inclined to be friendly just after someone's been harassing and humiliating him.]

Asexual. It's a sexual orientation. Like being gay or bi or straight. Asexual means he's not sexually attracted to anyone.

I started dating him because I liked him. He was kind to me when he didn't have to be. And he saved my life. Which was incredibly attractive. He made the first move, technically. He asked me to gouge out my eyes and run away with him. [He is not providing context for that, thanks, just delivering it with a hard edge.]

The only question I have is why don't you leave me alone?

Edited 2023-06-12 20:44 (UTC)

[ The more the frostiness grows, the more transfixed Lalo becomes. His eyes glitter with something not entirely sane. For Lalo, nothing that comes too easily is worth having, and in the absence of any of the larger goals he'd rather be pursuing, this will do for now.

His demeanor is not unlike a cat that is trying, trying, trying so hard not to jump up on the on the counter and stick its nasty little paw into the goldfish water bowl because it knows it isn't supposed to. On some level, he is still trying to be kind, but his fundamental nature won't let him. Not for long. ]

He... saved... you? [ Lalo laughs. He considers that for a moment like he's turning that over in his head. That saving someone could make them love you. He nods slowly, like he's putting the pieces together. ] He... saved you... and that's why you like him... [ Another laugh. He waits, then continues. ]

Yeah, I've seen a few guys' eyes get ripped out. [ He says that like he's talking about seeing a fútbol game. ] Little theatrical for my taste. Me, personally, I'd rather just shoot 'em. Faster. Less mess. My cousins, though, they're the ones who really have the stomach for that kind of violence. Real flair for the dramatic sometimes. Never seen anybody rip their own eyes out, though. [ Yes, he is being very conversational about this. In his mind, this is still an olive branch. Martin brought up the eye-gouging first, after all; Lalo figures this must mean he's okay with hearing about it.

The question as to why he won't leave Martin alone gets another laugh. ]

I could say I'm trying to make things up to you. Wouldn't be a lie. [ He lets that suggestion hang in the air for a moment before he shrugs. ] But I think you know the real reason. You strike me as an astute observer of human nature, Martin. Is that true?

[The aura of 'leave me alone' only continues to grow. What does this man think he's accomplishing? These are horrific things he's chattering about as if they're nothing. He acts like- God. Now he knows who the man reminds him of: Jude Perry. That same spark of insanity he'd seen in the woman for the brief moments he'd been able to discern anything amongst the smoke. When she hadn't been terrified and begging for her life, of course.

God, the Desolation is just the worst, if Lalo is anything like one of their avatars. And with the way he's run about torching relationships in this liminal space...]

Well, I'm not oblivious, certainly. And I'm better at it than a lot of people I know. You're really bad at making things up to people, though, aren't you? All you had to do was not be a prick.

[ To him, it is nothing. It would be tricky to overstate just how normalized this kind of violence is to him. He was raised around this kind of violence since he was a tiny baby. He was born into the cartel, and Tio Hector trained him well in the art of hurting people. He knows literally nothing else. There is no supernatural explanation for his behavior; he is, simply, the boringly ordinary product of growing up in a staggeringly violent environment before he could walk. ]

Yeah, sorry about that. Not on purpose. Kinda in my genes. My whole family's like this. Especially my uncle. I love him more than anything, but I know how he is. Wish I could be a different way.

[ He scratches the side of his eye a little sheepishly, but he looks perplexed. Like he doesn't understand why Martin is mad now? Sure, he understands why a quote-unquote "normal" person wouldn't want to hear that shit, but Martin just casually talked about ripping his own eyes out for his serial killer (?) cult leader (?) boyfriend like it's normal, so where the hell does he get off acting like he's too squeamish for this shit? ]

Your man... what's he do? For a, let's call it a living. [ Lalo is curious; he has his suspicions, but he wants to see how close he is. ]

Your uncle sounds like a terrible person. I'm sorry you grew up like that.

[His tone is firm, but still cold.]

As for Jon, he's an archivist.

[ For the first time, Lalo actually looks stung by something Martin has said. Hearing someone say "I'm sorry" to him is so much worse than any amount of insults or frostiness. ]

Hey, c'mon, man, don't do me like that. I've had a good life! Tio taught me a lot! Nothing to be sorry for. [ He dismisses the idea with a wave of his hand. ]

I remember... [ You know when somebody casually relates a horrifying story from their childhood like it's hilarious? This is that! He starts to laugh while he talks ] He used to waterboard us when we were kids. You know, to teach us lessons. Gooooood times, good times! [ Lalo laughs. He's at least aware enough to know he can't dispute that Hector is a terrible person, though. ] Sometimes it gets in the way of certain things sometimes, that's all, growing up the way I did. But hey! We've all got struggles, eh?

[ Lalo's brow furrows. ]

An "archivist?" [ So is that like his title in the cult your boytoy runs??? Or what? ] Is that what they're calling it now? Let me guess. Does he archive hookers' fingers?

Edited 2023-06-13 09:10 (UTC)

[Martin was going to respond to the first part of that, but he's so thrown by the second, the admonishment that that's not a normal childhood and Lalo should have been taken away from his family goes out the window.]

Does he- What? No. What are you talking about? We worked at an institute. The archives had stories from people who'd been traumatized by supernatural things.

[ It's a pity!! Expressing any sympathy or concern for Lalo's well-being might have actually irritated him into fucking off. ]

Sup — so what's all this gouging your eyes out shit then? Huh? Sounds like something a serial killer says to make sure you're the right kinda guy to help him hunt down the next person he's gonna [ stabbing gestures ]

Figured you were into that shit! Shit, you seem like the type. Your self-esteem is low enough.

It was to break us free from the eldritch entity we're tied to, not- he didn't put it like I did. He came to me when he figured out a way to escape the Institute. Escape the Ceaseless Watcher and its influence. He'd heard a recording of someone who used to work there. Someone who'd been forced to destroy their eyes. It broke the-the metaphysical connection. He wanted me to do it with him so he wouldn't be alone trying to get out.

[Jon would be better at explaining all of this. God!]

At least that's what he told himself. He really just came to me so I'd tell him 'no' and not to do that. It worked.

And Jon's not a killer. I mean, he has killed people, but they were terrible monsters who were tormenting other people. Stabbing's really not his style, though. Except Elias, I guess. But he deserved it, too.

[ oh

shit

and that's when lalo realized, he fucked up ]

[ damn it ]

[ not touching the meta-whatsit shit, they can talk about that later if lalo decides that he cares! ]

[ well, now that explains why martin was so fussy about hearing about torturing people! here lalo was thinking he was just a hypocrite ]

Ah.

Shit.

Sorry, man.

I thought he was a serial killer. I thought that was your "thing," you know, you were into that...

So! Good talk! See you later! I gotta go. [ Finger guns and an awkward grin!! The insane, unhinged look in Lalo's eyes is gone, replaced by something like chagrin.

Then he's off!! At least he's gone now! Congratulations, Martin. ]

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cw: mention of eye trauma

cw: mention of cartel hits/murder/torture

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cw: more cartel garbage

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cw: child abuse

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